After taking a bit of a writing break – I’m back now and more inspired than ever. And you know what timely subject I’ve been thinking about…. compassion. So it’s 2020, the year of coronavirus, murder hornets, racial tensions, economic recession, wildfires, and the icing on top of this ever unappetizing 2020 cupcake, a presidential election. Before reading any further – this is NOT, I will say it again, NOT a political post (or blog for that matter). While I enjoy political discussions immensely , my political conversations will be conducted in person where you can read tone, body language and remedy misunderstandings on the spot – not just some one-sided words on a screen that leave much up to interpretation. To continue – COMPASSION.
Compassion is defined as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering”. What does that look like in our daily lives? How is compassion different than empathy? And can you be compassionate, but not empathetic (and vice versa)?
I don’t have the answer to all those questions, and I won’t even say I’ve been as compassionate as I would like to think I can be as things have gotten progressively more difficult. All I know it’s something I’ve sorely seen lacking as we are all put under the various different pressures and struggles of 2020. There’s so much yelling and no one wants to find common ground. It’s more about picking a camp and ascribing evil intent whatever side you don’t agree with. To that end – compassion definitely doesn’t mean agreeing all the time either, but rather choosing to disagree in a way that humanizes the other person and shows some level or care and understanding (or desire to understand). Instead of ascribing to ourselves altruistic intentions that we have all the answers to the universes problems, take a minute to listen well and learn. Personally , I love chatting with those who think differently than me. It challenges me, stretches me, and keeps me from becoming stuck in the echo chamber of my own mind. It ensures I actually have tested and truly believe in the things I say I do. Social media has only made the echo chamber worse, but that probably needs to be its own post.
Now have I ever fundamentally changed what I believe through having a deep and heartfelt conversation with someone who thinks differently than me? No, I can’t say I really have. Have a gained a deeper understanding for their perspective and experience that means I can share my thoughts with greater compassion and understanding – 100% you bet I have. And therein lies the beauty of our differences. To bring balance , diversity and our unique experiences to the world.
I also think there is something to be said for self-compassion. Grace for our own struggles and missteps and an allowance for growth. There’s definitely more to be said on the subject here (maybe I’ll do a Compassion 2020 series). We may not be exactly where we want to be, but we sure aren’t where we started.
So in closing, as we face the first presidential debate tonight and the long trek ahead to election day, may we all start with compassion and building others up instead of name calling and yelling. Maybe it means not posting that meme, maybe it means time off the internet and engaging in the real world. It could even look like new boundaries in relationships. It will look different for all of us, but I have faith we can get there. I also want to point out here too, compassion is NOT keeping quiet about topics you are passionate about and it most assuredly is NOT remaining quiet in the presence of racism and bigotry or allowing those things in any way, shape or form. But I do think compassion, combined with humility and grace, we can all be a little kinder and find some unity in 2020 when everything out there seems to want to divide.
One of us
Won’t last the night
Between you and me it’s no surprise.
And there’s two of us
Both can’t be right
Neither will move till it’s over.I’m the center of attention
Guster – “Center of Attention”
In the walls inside my head.
And no one will ever know it
If I keep my mouth shut tight.
